Things have changed a lot since I was a kid. I suppose that is a universal truth that is verified by every generation in succession, but it is true nonetheless.
I rode the bus until I graduated high school. No matter the weather or conditions, I and my brothers trudged every morning to the bus stop and waited. Pouring rain, freezing cold, mosquito-infested humid heat-you name it, we were there on the side of the road waiting on the cheesewagon.
As a bus driver now, I find my students are overwhelmingly brought to the stop in all but the most benign circumstances. This morning, with an inconsequential drizzle, I pulled up at each successive stop to a rugby scrum of cars at each intersection, out of which kids would pour when I put on my loading lights.
Even the high school students.
Yes, even the high school students.
Sheesh!
Lest I sound like some grumpy curmudgeon, I strongly believe in taking care of your kids. In safety. In comfort. But I wonder at the way it seems the norm now to shelter kids from all kinds of unpleasantness. As if walking in a little rain is gonna make someone catch cold and die. Or ruin his or her iPod, at least.
Are we raising a generation used to being sheltered and coddled and protected from life?
What happened to buying your kid a raincoat and pushing him or her out the door?
When time came for me to go to college, I researched schools, evaluated financial aid and scholarships, filled out numerous forms, and arranged all the necessary interviews. All on my own. Once everything was decided upon and my choice made, I presented the information to my mother to sign her bit on the dotted line. But it was my own life I was running, as I understood. I think a lot of my classmates did the same. At the end of the summer after I graduated, the family dropped me off down in Miami at school and I was on my own for the most part. And I've been more or less making all my own decisions since then.
A couple of years ago, when it came time for Andrew to decide on school, he had his transcripts sent to UNA, applied and was accepted, found out about housing and fees and everything, and brought me and Stacey in when all was decided to do our bit. Since it is his life, he understood without being told that he was responsible for his own decisions and consequences.
Part of our support was attending an orientation at the university for parents of new students, so we signed up for a session and went. At one of the seminars discussing off-campus housing, a mom of a student asked a question about shuttle buses running students to the school, and how was he to know when they ran and picked up and dropped off.
That was when Stacey and I looked at each other and realized that a lot of people have gone batshit crazy. I hope the mom also found out when she could slip into the classroom and unbutton her shirt and breast-feed and burp her grown son.
Sheesh!
Whatever happened to personal accountability and responsibility? I am not a paragon of parenting, but I have two children that can stand on their own two feet and one younger that is going to be there by the time she graduates high school in two years. For better or worse, their lives are going to be their own, and I hope the raincoats I have provided them with over the years keep them moderately dry.
Otherwise, if they leave their raincoats at home, they are gonna get wet. As they should. Then maybe next time they will remember.
You know, with all the parents dropping off kids at the bus stop this morning, not a single kid had a raincoat on. Every one of them dashed from sheltering car to the bus without umbrella or coat, no personal responsibility taken for safety or comfort since the parents had provided for all.
In my house, those would be some wet kids. Learning life lessons.
I know this is just one day among many, and maybe this is just the societal norm here in Katy, Texas. But, once again....
What happened to buying your kid a raincoat and pushing him or her out the door?
As a teacher, I see this all the time. A big frustration of being a teacher is dealing with parents who either make excuses for and defend their kids behavior or neglect their basic needs, or both. This is a disservice to the children in many ways. I have learned from my grad school profs about "helicopter moms",who fly into college campuses to interfere with whatever is going on. I think many parents are more aware these days, but I agree that in some ways parenting has become a means of running someone else's life. Perhaps the solution is about realizing that every action our kids take is not always a reflection of our parenting or us.
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