Show some decorum...

     Weddings. Funerals. Graduations. Christenings. All events at which you are expected to show decorum. Which means politeness, respect, appropriate restraint, and orderliness. Lack of decorum is tied to immodesty, bad behavior, and worse. Lack of decorum? That is described as uncultured, disrespectful, uncouth, common, coarse, redneck, ghetto....

    So last week was Marley's high school graduation back home in Opelika. 40 years since my own graduation. Opelika High School has been rebuilt as a newer and fresher model. I do not know whether Bulldog Stadium is the original, the one I graduated in before Adam and Shawn followed a few years later. But it sure felt the same-huge overflow crowds filling concrete bleachers on both sides, impossibly green football field lined with 300-some folding chairs filled by gowned and mortarboarded candidates. 

    Together we all suffered through the usual fare--the senior address by administration and one by the president of the student body, the senior song which went on for about twenty stanzas too long. Then came the meat and potatoes of the ceremony. 

    The Moment Long Awaited. The awarding of diplomas.

    The instructions given to the audience, to the Honored Families and Guests, are always the same at academic ceremonies. 

   Remain in your seat. No loud conversations are allowed so all graduates' names may be heard. No air horns or other noisemakers.

    And....please hold your applause until the end of the ceremony. 

    Having attended both high school and college graduations in many different venues over the last 40 years, I can attest that few events rival a hometown Alabama high-school graduation for-well, for energy and enthusiasm. I think by that I mean noise.

    Throughout the calling of 300 names, the crowd  erupted in raucous cheers, blasts of air-horns, and hoarse-throated screams almost constantly. For crying out loud, some families even wore screenprinted tees in garish colors trumpeting the merits of their child. Of course, those of us who were raised to show decorum were, if not aghast, at least eye-rollingly discomfited. 

How DARE such BOORISH behavior be exhibited?

    

    And so it went, until almost half-way through the hullabaloo. 

    

    And then...

    

    And then....

    A young man, nervously schlepped to the stage, his posture unsure and cautious. He extended a hand awkwardly, seemingly unused to the handshake proffered by the official, and grasped it haltingly. With the other grabbed his diploma and tucked it under his arm.

    A tight scrum of family maybe 20 yards away from us flared into ecstatic applause, exploded into exhilaration punctuated by the bleat of air horns. His head snapped in our direction, and suddenly his face was wreathed in rapture, beaming and beatific. He immediately executed a smart pirouette toward his family, double-fist-pumped with the diploma, and strutted down the ramp and back down the sideline. His back ramrod-straight and his gait long and unencumbered, he absolutely loped back to his seat, fist-bumping all the way.

    This was my moment of epiphany. Instead of a low-class display of boorishness, I was confronted by the reality of a family that was insanely proud of their graduate. The immediate impact on his confidence of such enthusiasm was PROFOUND.

    What a powerful affirmation for him that his family supports and loves him, that they make merry regardless of the disapproval of those around him. 

     Not how DARE they exhibit such loud uncouth cheering, but how DARE I judge them for their enthusiasm. 

       

    For their pride in his accomplishments.

    The next morning, walking around my Mom's neighborhood with the dog, I chanced across a house with a gigantic banner in the front yard. More than life-size, in full color. Cap and gown photo, resplendent in OHS colors, gold lettering.

    

    Loud and proud. Absolutely trumpeting their daughter's success. 

    Wherever she goes next, whatever happens next in her life, I am assured that right now she knows of her family's overwhelming pride in her.

    Congratulations to all the 2025 graduates! And at least 3 blasts of an air horn to you all!